Cranky cancer

Sometimes I forget that I have cancer. Not that I really forget, but more that I forget that it's something extremely serious and that because of it, I can't do certain things. And then it starts to get cranky and says, "Hey! Remember me?" I've been taking for granted, for example, the fact that the chemo has been pretty easy on me. Recently, however, it's started to impact my body a little more. First it was the low blood counts. Now it's got this nasty tendency to give me a fever and make me sort of nauseous and crappy-feeling. Two weeks ago, I attributed that to the flu shot. But today, I've got the same symptoms. It's a low-grade fever and just a general malaise, but it's keeping me from going to a party that I had been looking forward to. And that made me sad. I don't want cancer to affect my life, and yet how could I expect it not to?

Still, on the upside, I got my tumor marker results and they continue to go down. Not significantly, just a little - but at least it's still in a downward trend. Carrie said there are "diminishing returns" as we get closer to 0. I wanted something more, but I'll definitely take this.