Talk

Ever since I was little, I have had a hard time sharing my feelings. My mom found this particularly difficult, and one could argue that, as a teenager, clamming up was my form of rebellion.

This blog is my way of talking. This blog enables me to share my thoughts and feelings about what I'm going through, but not have to actually talk about it. This blog is my voice. Quietly and easily, I let you all know what's going on inside my head.

Lately, I've been thinking about the choices cancer patients have to make. A friend with metastatic breast cancer had to choose between continuing a chemo that was killing her, or stopping chemo altogether. Another friend is deciding if she should get a mastectomy, which may save her life, but will keep her from being able to spend every minute with her kids. These are tough choices, because no matter what you choose, all roads lead to the inevitable.

So far, I haven't been faced with decisions like this. My decisions have pretty much been made for me. Take this chemo, now take that one. But I know at some point, I'm going to have to choose between two evils. That choice may involve surgery, or a new experimental treatment, or a particularly brutal chemo. When that time comes, I expect to use this blog to help me make that decision. I'm sure I'll talk about it too, but here is where I do my best thinking. Here is where my introspection leads to discovery. Here is where, quietly and meaningfully, I share my feelings.