I felt my liver
For the past several months, pretty much every day, I feel for my liver. I know how to do it: I lie on my back and put my fingers at the bottom of my ribs and breathe in deep. And for the past several months, I haven't felt anything. My own clinical exam has been confirmed by Dr. Glick's week after week.
But tonight, I felt the edge. Even though my tumor markers were down two weeks ago, and even though my liver function tests were normal, I knew something was wrong. I've had a low-grade fever for two weeks, and I just haven't felt very good. I even called Carrie this morning to ask for a tumor marker test for tomorrow. I swear that the liver edge wasn't there this morning. I think these tumors can grow really really fast.
So it's been a tough night. I don't know what to expect tomorrow. At least I know it won't be a surprise, at least I'm prepared for the exam. The question is, what to do now? Do I stay on the chemo and add a new one? Do we scrap this treatment entirely and move on? I know that Navelbine is next up on deck. Do we combine it with Gemzar or do it by itself? Do I have a CT scan right away? I'm looking to Dr. Glick to provide the answers. I hope and pray that whatever the next treatment is, it will start working right away. I have things to do, places to go. I'm going to Miami Beach in December! I have to be healthy for that, dammit.
I am extremely sad but have far from given up. I am overwhelmed by the unfairness of it all but continue to fight.
But tonight, I felt the edge. Even though my tumor markers were down two weeks ago, and even though my liver function tests were normal, I knew something was wrong. I've had a low-grade fever for two weeks, and I just haven't felt very good. I even called Carrie this morning to ask for a tumor marker test for tomorrow. I swear that the liver edge wasn't there this morning. I think these tumors can grow really really fast.
So it's been a tough night. I don't know what to expect tomorrow. At least I know it won't be a surprise, at least I'm prepared for the exam. The question is, what to do now? Do I stay on the chemo and add a new one? Do we scrap this treatment entirely and move on? I know that Navelbine is next up on deck. Do we combine it with Gemzar or do it by itself? Do I have a CT scan right away? I'm looking to Dr. Glick to provide the answers. I hope and pray that whatever the next treatment is, it will start working right away. I have things to do, places to go. I'm going to Miami Beach in December! I have to be healthy for that, dammit.
I am extremely sad but have far from given up. I am overwhelmed by the unfairness of it all but continue to fight.
posted by Rachel Troxell at 9:57 PM
1 Comments:
I haven't written because I've been away. I just caught up on your blogs and shared the highs as you celebrated happy occasions and your concern with your latest posting. You know your body so well, yet you are very good at taking things one day at a time, one decision at a time. Wait to hear the results of the test. I'm sure you'll make it to Miami in December, but if you want to feel the sunshine on your face right now, close your eyes and feel the love and warmth sent from family and friends who share your concern. You're always in my prayers.
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