It has to get easier
These past few days have been extremely difficult and frustrating. My body must be fighting the disease so hard, it just can't do anything else. The yucky feelings of nausea, dizziness, pain, cramping - they just wouldn't go away. Today, they finally started to abate. Just in time for tomorrow's treatment. Ah.
There is no other way to say it: this sucks. I'm scared that the treatment, the weekly treatment, will continue to knock me down, and that my body just won't have the strength it needs to stay healthy and fight. But today I do feel more optimistic. Tomorrow, we will see. I just can't imagine that this gets harder. It has to get easier. It just has to.
There is no other way to say it: this sucks. I'm scared that the treatment, the weekly treatment, will continue to knock me down, and that my body just won't have the strength it needs to stay healthy and fight. But today I do feel more optimistic. Tomorrow, we will see. I just can't imagine that this gets harder. It has to get easier. It just has to.
posted by Rachel Troxell at 10:42 PM
4 Comments:
Rachel, I read your blog religiously and it always makes me stop to think about my life. When I get aggravated that I am tired or someone in front of me is moving too slow I stop and wonder if these things still bother you. It is all so insignificant in the big picture and I try to retain knowledge of that in thinking of you. You have to keep up the good fight. I have no idea where your will and positive outlook continue to come from but I so admire you for it. I pray for you EVERY day. Love, Cecelia
Oh Rachel, it DOES suck - I'm so sad for you. I have a friend who says whenever you feel really bad, physically or emotionally, it truly helps to curse, curse, curse - so, as one of your rabbis and friends, I say to you, shout out those curses and it might help, I'm serious! And then, when the one better day comes, revel in it, revel in each relatively good day, and you'll recoup the strength to curse some more if you have to.
Hang in there, and know there are so, so many of us with you in your fight.
Love you,
Connie
If we could all take part of your suffering to make it more bearable, we would, but all we can do is let you know you are in our thoughts, hearts and prayers.
You have evey right to be angry and frustrated. As readers of your blog--we have felt that way since this whole business began. We send you many virtual hugs and a reminder that you are loved and admired by many who know you and many who do not.
Anne W.
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