Blood, sweat, tears

I had the blood transfusion today, although it didn't pump me with the same energy that the last transfusion did. I think I am mostly just overwhelmed by the whole situation. I have not come to terms with it yet. I've been doing a lot of crying. I know there is this treatment, and I know there is a strong possibility it could work. But thinking about Adriamycin and what that was like is just terrifying. I was a zombie for a week. At least I get two more weeks to recover. I just have a feeling I'm going to be spending a lot more time in the cancer center than I want.

Today I feel okay. I think I feel better than yesterday, but then again today is my 'bad' day from Zometa. I still get fevers at night, which I try to control with Tylenol but end up with cold sweats from the fever breaking anyway. Plus I'm getting Neupogen shots, which make me really achy. This is unlike any pain you've ever felt. It's bone pain, coming from the marrow which the neupogen is stimulating. It feels primordial. There is no position that is comfortable and no drug that can ease it. But I just have one more day and then it's over.

On a positive note, the LympheDIVAs phone has been ringing off the hook! We're getting orders from all over. Who thought there'd be activity in the last days of December? We had closed the office but, well, I can't help myself to pack up orders. We did well this year. I'm proud of us.